OVERVIEW

Crypto Market Acts Like It’s Typing a Response, But Sends Nothing ⏳️

Before we dive in, here’s today’s crypto market heatmap:

Source: Santiment

And here’s a look at crypto’s total market and altcoin market cap charts:

Source: TradingView

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Crypto News 📰

🌪️ Treasury Backtracks on Tornado Cash, Still Clings to Sanctions Against Dev

The U.S. Treasury finally removed Tornado Cash ($TORN.X ( ▲ 0.61% )) from its sanctions list, admitting (reluctantly) that smart contracts aren’t exactly “property.” Founder Roman Semenov, however, still carries the sanctions badge courtesy of alleged North Korean connections—because OFAC needs to pin something on someone. CryptoBriefing.

🚀 BlackRock Discovers Staking Might Actually Boost Ethereum ETFs

BlackRock’s Robert Mitchnick just realized staking might help $ETH.X ( ▲ 0.61% ) ETFs perform better—groundbreaking stuff from Wall Street’s brightest minds. Ethereum ETFs tanked 43% this year, mostly because the SEC thinks staking equals securities fraud or some nonsense like that. Expect crypto haters to complain about passive yields while secretly wishing their bonds could earn a fraction of ETH’s staking returns. yolowire.

🐸 Pump.fun Launches PumpSwap DEX

Pump.fun just dropped its own DEX, PumpSwap, wiping out the hefty 6 $SOL.X ( ▲ 1.44% ) migration fee to lure traders away from Raydium ($RAY.X ( ▲ 5.49% )). The platform offers a slick AMM model, competitive fees, and revenue-sharing to sweeten the deal, but it’s also facing legal headaches over alleged securities violations. Crypto-Economy.

TECHNICAL ANALYSIS
Q1 Is Almost Over, And It Looks… Weird. 🤷 

Q1’s wrapping up, and $BTC.X ( ▼ 0.02% ) is only down about -10%—pretty tame considering Bitcoin’s average Q1 bloodbath (when it closes in the red) is closer to -31%. 😨 

Barring some colossal change, Q1 2025 will mark just the third red first quarter for Bitcoin since 2015.

Total Market Cap Quarterly Chart – Click to enlarge.

For the total crypto market cap market, Q1 2025 (-15.1%) would be the worst quarter since Q4 2022.

Altcoin Market Cap Quarterly Chart – Click to enlarge.

For the altcoin market, Q1 2025 (-22%) would be the worst quarter since Q2 2022.

Altcoin Market Cap (excluding ETH) Quarterly Chart – Click to enlarge.

For the altcoin market (excluding $ETH.X ( ▲ 0.61% )) (-13.8%), Q1 would be the worst quarter since Q4 2022.

The weird part of this quarter is how well the altcoin market (excluding ETH) is performing against the altcoin market and it’s outperforming the total crypto market. 🤯 

STOCKTWITS PRODUCT UPDATE
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Source: Stocktwits

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ON-CHAIN ANALYSIS
Who Is Paul Atkins: Trump’s Pick For SEC Chair 🤔 

Trump’s pick to head up the SEC, Paul Atkins, faces his confirmation hearing in front of the Senate Banking Committee on the March 27. 🏦 

But who is he? Here’s a quick breakdown:

• Resume 101

  • Former SEC Commissioner from 2002 to 2008.

  • Helped oversee TARP, because one financial crisis wasn’t enough.

  • Founded Patomak Global Partners, advising companies on how to make nice with regulators.

• Regulatory Philosophy

  • Prefers the “less meddling, more clarity” approach.

  • Not exactly a fan of bureaucratic chokeholds that kill innovation.

  • Could be a breath of fresh air for industries tired of endless compliance mazes.

• Crypto Relevance

  • Known for supporting nuance over knee-jerk rulemaking.

  • Might be more open to digital assets than the usual “ban first, ask questions later” crowd.

  • Emphasizes investor protection without demonizing every new technology.

• Criticisms

  • Some say he’s too hands-off, which could let bad actors run amok.

  • Others think a light touch can help legitimate projects breathe.

  • Apparently, striking that perfect balance is trickier than it looks.

• Why People Care

  • Promises to trim back the red tape. That alone can make him a hero in certain circles.

  • Brings a business-savvy perspective to an agency known for extended battles with industry players.

  • If you’re tired of tiptoeing around ambiguous regulations, his approach might sound appealing.

ON-CHAIN ANALYSIS
Burnt Bag Briefing 🔥 

Want to know whether the bulls or bears are feeling the most pain today? Well, this is the place to look. 👀

24-Hour Liquidation Heat Map – Source: coinglass – Click to enlarge.

In the past 24 hours, 87,781 traders were liquidated, with total liquidations reaching nearly $172.06 million.

The largest single liquidation occurred on Binance, a BTCUSD pair valued at $1.97 million.

Longs lost $120.50 million, while shorts were hit for $51.56 million. 🤕

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
AI, Stablecoin, & Privacy News 🕵️ 

⚡ Verifiable AI Meets Flare

$FLR.X ( ▲ 2.56% ) just teamed up with Google Cloud to host a hackathon that flexed AI muscle on a blockchain without turning servers into smoke. Confidential Space enclaves spit out cryptographic proofs so everyone knows your fancy AI computations are legit. Anyone claiming blockchains can’t handle real workloads might rethink once they see an entire AI kit running in tamper-proof enclaves. Flare Network.

⚒️ Stellar’s New Spark: OpenZeppelin Token Wizard

Creating a fungible token on Stellar just got simpler with OpenZeppelin’s Contract Wizard for $XLM.X ( ▼ 1.5% ). You pick a name, add features like minting and burning, then deploy it straight from your terminal. Anyone still clinging to “it’s too hard for real devs” can enjoy their confusion while we mint tokens in minutes. Stellar.

🤖 Picking the Right LLM for AI Agents Isn’t Rocket Science

$ELF.X ( ▼ 0.75% ) thinks choosing an LLM for AI agents boils down to needs: GPT-4 for complexity, Claude for safety, PaLM for logic, or Llama if your budget cries every month. Critics claiming AI is still “just autocomplete” probably think Excel is wizardry, too. aelf.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Real World Asset Tokenization (RWA) News 🪙 

🌌 Cosmos Attracts The RWA Crowd

$ATOM.X ( ▲ 2.35% ) keeps drawing tokenized real-world assets, from stablecoins to full-on appchains built for mortgages and real estate. With IBC linking everything and the Cosmos SDK letting devs fine-tune their chains, it’s the customizable playground TradFi can’t resist. Good luck telling institutions they should avoid on-chain finance when the ecosystem is stacking billions in tokenized deals. Cosmos.

💸 Zoth Hacked Again, Loses $8.4M—Admin Password Probably “Password123”

RWA platform Zoth got hacked for the second time this month, losing $8.4 million after someone casually walked off with admin privileges. SlowMist analysts suspect leaked admin credentials led to the malicious contract replacement, but at this point, the hacker’s probably bored—Zoth practically leaves the front door unlocked. The team’s still investigating, likely because it’s easier than admitting they got wrecked twice in the same month. Protos.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Metaverse, NFT, & Gaming News 🎮️

🎮 Digital Ownership Finally Grows Up, Crypto Critics Still Don’t

Tokenization means gamers and musicians now own their digital stuff—shocking, I know, especially to those still yelling “scam” from their basements. $DOT.X ( ▲ 1.91% ) makes NFTs and in-game skins tradable, verifiable, and actually yours instead of platform-rented junk. Critics will keep calling blockchain a fad while everyone else enjoys true ownership—and the sweet sound of royalties hitting artists’ wallets. Polkadot.

🕹️ Saga Origins Uses AI to Make Games Better; Critics Still Waiting for Pong Remaster
At GDC 2025, $SAGA.X ( ▲ 2.43% ) Origins teamed up with gaming big shots like Super Company to make AI-driven characters that respond, adapt, and actually care—unlike some game publishers. OV Entertainment, Didimo, and Northern Lights are also in, crafting interactive narratives and characters smarter than your average crypto hater. Meanwhile, anti-AI critics wonder why their Atari hasn’t updated since the ’70s. SAGA.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
DeFi, DEX, & Lending Protocol News 🏦

🛡️ NEO X: Bye-Bye MEV Exploits

$NEO.X ( ▼ 1.47% ) just rolled out its anti-MEV feature on Neo X TestNet, throwing a wrench into the usual miner monkey business. Enveloped transactions “blind” validators, so they can’t reorder trades to pad their pockets. Critics claiming blockchains can’t fix MEV trickery might want to rewrite their FUD scripts. Neo.

⚡ Hyperstaking Puts $DUSK On Everyone’s Radar

Dusk Network is letting smart contracts stake $DUSK.X ( ▲ 0.01% ) on users’ behalf, lowering the bar for node-free earning. It’s dubbed “Hyperstaking,” and it basically says, “sit back, we’ll do the heavy lifting.” People who say staking’s too techy might need to find a new complaint—this one’s becoming idiot-proof. Dusk Network.

🚀 Sei’s Application-Specific Take on MEV

$SEI.X ( ▼ 0.35% ) isn’t content with the usual transaction ordering free-for-all, so they’re pushing custom sequencing and anti-front-running tactics. Block producers who think they can reorder swaps for profit might be in for a disappointment. Nothing like specialized logic to keep you from flipping a quick buck at users’ expense. Sei.

LINKS
Links That Don’t Suck 🔗

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😮 Trump’s son to advise Japan’s largest corporate holder of Bitcoin

🧠 SEC dropping XRP case was ‘priced in’ since Trump’s election: Analysts

🦜 Vivek Ramaswamy responds to Tether’s $90B treasury haul

✈️ US Gov to Announce Next-Gen Fighter Contract; Boeing and Lockheed Martin in the Running

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