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OVERVIEW

The Chiefs And Crypto Ads Noticeably Absent From The Superbowl 🏈 

Source: Giphy

Before we dive in, here’s today’s crypto market heatmap:

Source: Santiment

And here’s a look at crypto’s total market and altcoin market cap charts:

Source: TradingView

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Crypto News 📰

🏈 Super Bowl: No Crypto Ads This Year

The Chiefs weren’t the only thing missing during yesterday’s Superbowl. Remember the 2022 “Crypto Bowl,” featuring flashy exchange ads? Yeah, that fizzled out after 2023’s market meltdown. This time, AI took center stage, leaving the cryptosphere to nurse its wounds quietly on the sidelines. U.Today.

⚖️ Beijing Official Bags 11 Years For Bitcoin Laundering

Tens of millions in bribes can’t buy you a way out of prison or the CCP’s watchful gaze. Hao Gang, ex-Beijing Financial Bureau deputy director, got slammed for helping a mining firm launder BTC in exchange for freebies. DailyHODL.

🗑️ Landfill With $768M in BTC to Be Shut

James Howells’ infamous dump site in Wales is closing, effectively burying that 8,000-Bitcoin hard drive for good. He tried everything from lawsuits to AI super-sleuthing, but the city said “no dice.” Now he wants to try buying it. Cointelegraph.

🏃 Kidnapped Crypto Trader Jumps 30-Foot Balcony

A gang demanded €30k in crypto or threatened torture, so the victim leapt off the balcony, breaking both ankles. Armed police swooped in, found guns, cocaine, and stolen cash stuffed everywhere. Apparently, if you plan to “get a drink” in Spain, pick your buddies carefully. Protos.

👀 Kraken Lists “JAILSTOOL,” Because Why Not

Dave Portnoy’s brand-new meme baby soared to $267 million market cap—until it cratered. Portnoy’s questioning whether it’s too stupid to fail, but the crypto bros ate it up. “Stool Prisondente” is the latest example of memecoin mania overshadowing all sense of caution—again. Kraken.

🇨🇫 Central African Republic’s Memecoin: Real or Rug?

The president’s official X account dropped a new memecoin with talk of “uniting people,” but critics smell a scam. Website domain’s already suspended, and the official token wallet apparently lumps 80% supply in one chunk. If you needed a better reason to triple-check new launches, here it is. The Block.

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MEMECOINS
Dave Portnoy’s Meme Coin Survival Guide: Step One—Panic Immediately 😂

You might have heard of JAILSTOOL this past weekend. You might not know what the hell happened. That’s ok, because the fallout is still happening, but here’s what’s going on:

• Portnoy promoted a token called “Montoya por favor.” He bragged about a tidy profit and then got roasted by folks calling it a pump-and-dump scheme.

• Someone created “JAILSTOOL,” a token referencing the idea that Portnoy should be jailed for shilling meme coins.

• Instead of ignoring the troll, he scooped up 50+ million JAILSTOOL tokens. Then he told his followers, “I may dump it eventually… so don’t put in more than you can lose.”

• JAILSTOOL’s market cap soared from $1.2 million to over $200 million, briefly got listed on Kraken (who sponsors Dave), and convinced everyone that meme coin season was back.

• The pump lasted about as long as the Chiefs’ chance at a third-timer last night. The coin’s value nosedived in one hour.

JAILSTOOLUSD 15-Minute Chart – Click to enlarge.

Then, late this morning, Dave posts on his YouTube channel a 13-minute-ish rant. Someone epically reduced the rant to just 1 minute 47 seconds on X. 

The Rant 🔈️ 

• He’s over everyone whining about being “rugged.” He says he warned people he’d flip certain coins fast, so spare him the outraged DMs.

• He’s furious at the so-called crypto “snipers.” They watch his wallet like it’s the new Netflix special, then dump the second the price jumps.

• He’s annoyed that he’s trying to help others but keeps getting undermined. He brought new liquidity with JAILSTOOL and told folks he wasn’t selling. The crypto crowd couldn’t resist quick profits, so they sold anyway.

• He’s fuming about the constant accusations of him rugging projects. He said accidentally selling JAILSTOOL for just a second doesn’t count since he used his own money to buy it all back.

• He’s frustrated by people expecting him to take losses while they line their pockets. He wants to build something sustainable, but the “scumbags” keep clipping newcomers.

• He’s upset at the hypocrisy. People label him the bad guy, yet they track his wallet moves to make fast cash. Then they cry foul when he does the same.

• He’s irritated at the short-sightedness in crypto. He believes the space could grow bigger if everyone stopped racing to dump.

• He’s fed up with technical hassles. Swaps keep failing, wallets get confusing, and he’s still expected to be crypto’s “emperor” of honesty.

Moral of the story: If you play with fire, expect to get burned. 🔥 

ON-CHAIN ANALYTICS
The Flows Knows 👃 

Let’s take a look at some inflow/outflow data for Bitcoin and Ethereum using Glassnode’s Exchange Deposit & Withdrawal Volume. First, here’s what Exchange Deposit and Withdrawal Volume is and what it does:

• What It Tracks: How many coins move from personal wallets to an exchange (deposits) and vice versa (withdrawals).

• Why It Matters: Big inflows can signal folks gearing up to sell. Large outflows suggest accumulation or a self-custody shuffle. It’s a handy barometer for market sentiment—like checking a car’s dashboard before a long drive.

Bitcoin’s Zero-Sum Tug-of-War 🪢 

Click to enlarge.

• Green Bars (Deposits) vs. Red Bars (Withdrawals): Looks like a turf war. Neither side is laying the smackdown.

• Net Flow (the Black Line): Stays near zero. Think of it like a referee that’s bored out of its mind.

Key Takeaways

• Plenty of trading activity, but no crisis.

• Exchange balances haven’t shifted dramatically.

• Hard to spot fear or greed when both sides look evenly matched.

Ethereum’s Playing Ping Pong 🏓 

Click to enlarge.

• Deposit Spikes (Green Bars): Especially that whopper in early February. Eye-catching, but fleeting.

• Withdrawal Storm (Red Bars): Net flow dipped negative. So there’s a lean towards off-exchange holding.

• Price Decline (Gray Line): Slid lower, even as a torrent of ETH flooded in for that brief moment.

Key Takeaways

• More outflows than inflows overall.

• A single deposit spike didn’t shore up prices.

• Cautious accumulation or a slow retreat—it depends on who you ask.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Metaverse, NFT, & Gaming News 🎮️

🎨 Generative AI + NFTs: Tokenize Those “Original” Creations

Now that an AI can spit out a Rembrandt knockoff in seconds, the line between inspiration and theft is blurrier than ever. But hey, slapping that masterpiece on an NFT might at least prove you minted it first. Kava.

🔒 Mint + Secret: NFTs Go Undercover

Mint’s hooking up with Secret Network to give your NFTs a stealth mode. Say goodbye to wide-open metadata and hello to private auctions and encrypted randomness. If you’re paranoid about privacy, this is basically a digital tinfoil hat for your collectibles. SecretNetwork.

🔥 Dust.Fun: Convert Junk Memecoins Into BTC

Too many rug-pull tokens cluttering your wallet? Dust.Fun says, “Hey, toss us your worthless meme bags, and we’ll spit out actual Bitcoin.” It’s one slick cross-chain aggregator that might finally turn your comedic PEPE stash into something less depressing. ZetaChain.

⚡ Core: Web3 Gaming’s Playground

Core’s rolling out the red carpet for game devs, offering fast transactions, low fees, and a dev-friendly environment. Their Global Gaming Hackathon 2025 dangles a $380k prize pool like a carrot on a stick. If your game idea can woo players, you’ll walk away with fresh funding and maybe even a few bragging rights. CoreDAO.

🌽 VEXI Villages: Buy Bytes, Earn Raffle Tickets

The game formerly known as VOX wants you to load up on fancy resource bundles so you can stand a chance at snagging part of a shiny $GALA jackpot. Sure, it’s basically a carnival booth for digital tokens, but at least they’re upfront about the free sweepstakes tickets. GalaGames.

NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
DeFi, DEX, and Lending Protocol News 🏦

🤖 CxAI: Celo Jumps On The AI Bandwagon

Celo wants to fuse stablecoins, agents, and user-centric AI – clearly 14 stablecoins isn’t enough excitement. They’re partnering with everyone from EigenLayer to Olas, hoping to solve everything from poverty to environmental doom with chatbots and blockchains. Celo.

🎪 Flare Fair Opens Its DeFi Circus

Flare’s throwing a virtual carnival where you can earn sweet rewards by poking around various dApps. You’ll farm tokens, stake assets, and maybe even walk away with monthly rFLR freebies. It’s DeFi with a side of funnel cake—minus the sticky fingers. And blood sugar spike. Flare Network.

⚖️ Horizen DAO Special Council Vote

Three out of seven council seats are up for grabs, and the election is basically the DAO’s in-house reality show. You can vote with $ZEN staked, stored, or delegated—just link your wallets. The winners get the lovely task of safeguarding the ecosystem and dealing with any Zen-related drama. Horizen.

📈 Curve: Yield Party Rolls On

The markets flailed, but Curve’s liquidity pools delivered epic APRs to folks who kept their cool. Dynamic fee pools raked in fees even with lower volume, making some providers feel like financial geniuses. If you’re hunting yield, these numbers might have you compulsively rebalancing your entire portfolio. Curve Finance.

LINKS
Links That Don’t Suck 🔗

🦸 Why Marvel vs. Capcom’s recent sales boost is a good sign for a new entry in the series

🤔 Here’s why analysts think Ethereum’s $10,000 breakout is ‘programmed this cycle’

🗾 Japan’s FSA Plans Crypto Tax Cuts, Bitcoin Spot ETF Approval by 2026

🪙 CZ addresses meme coin concerns after TST debuts on Binance

🤖 War robot put on a 30-minute DJ set at a California club

🍎 Apple juggler takes 198 bites in one minute

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Author Disclosure: The author of this newsletter holds positions in ADA, LTC, IMX, WMT, COPI, MIN, AGIX, ALGO, DOGE, ZEC, AVAX, XLM, XTZ, and NEAR. 📋