Wall Street's Largest Asset Manager Just Plugged Into A DEX 🦄
OVERVIEW
Wall Street’s Largest Asset Manager Just Plugged Into A DEX 🦄
Before we dive in, here’s today’s crypto market heatmap:
Source: finviz
And here’s a look at crypto’s total market and altcoin market cap charts:
Source: TradingView
DEFI
Hearken Well, For The Realm Of Finance Hath Been Forever Altered 🧙
Hear ye, hear ye, degenerate subjects of the cryptographic realm. 👑
I spendeth most of mine days beseeching thee to calmeth thy loins and ceaseth the buying of hype. But on this day, I commandeth thee: prepareth thine minds to be blowdied clean off thy necks.
BlackRock’s $BUIDL ( 0.0% ) fund doth now tradeth upon $UNI ( ▲ 4.26% )’s UniswapX. The mightiest asset manager in all the known lands – keeper of ten trillion somethingethss – hath dutifully thrust its tokenized money market fund into the largest DEX of the common folk.
In sacred partnership with Securitize, hodlers of BUIDL may now swappeth into USDC through UniswapX’s RFQ – all hours of the day, all days of the year, settling atomically upon the chain as the Lord intended.
This be no testnet demonstration, good people. This be not a parchment scroll from the year 2019 proclaiming “we art exploring the blockchain.” Nay. This be live coin of the realm upon real rails.
The Mechanismes Art Thus
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Securitize Markets doth facilitate the trades.
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UniswapX summoneth the finest quotes from whitelisted market makers
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The noble (nay, some ignoble some say) houses of Wintermute, Flowdesk, and Tokka Labs – and settleth all onchain.
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Every participant hath been vetted through Securitize, an SEC-registered broker dealer and operator of the Alternative Trading System.
And lo, buried within the depths of the royal proclamation: “BlackRock hath also made a strategic investment within the Uniswap ecosystem.” They did not merely integrate. They openethed thine royal coffers.
The bridge betwixt Wall Street and DeFi hath been crossèd. And ’twas BlackRock who strode forthwith froth forth first. Or something.
UNI soared +31% until it didn’t, barely holding on to a +3% gain as of 1400 EST.🫡
You’re overpaying for crypto.
Every exchange has different prices for the same crypto. Most people stick with one and pay whatever it costs.
CoW Swap checks them all automatically. Finds the best price. Executes your trade. Takes 30 seconds.
Stop leaving money on the table.
TECHNICAL ANALYSIS
This Is How Low Bitcoin’s Weekly RSI Is 🤯
27.83. That’s the RSI level $BTC ( ▼ 2.51% ) is at. 😨
BTCUSD Weekly Chart – Click to enlarge.
I mean it got to 26.97 at one point today, but this is when I took the screen shot. Anyway.
So, how low is a weekly RSI reading of 27.83? Mt. Gox’s RSI low was probably lower, right?
BTCUSD Weekly Chart – Click to enlarge.
Nope. Well, the ICO crash when Bitcoin hit $20k-ish for the first time in December 2017 and the resulting collapse had to be worse, right?
BTCUSD Weekly Chart – Click to enlarge.
Nope. The only period where the weekly RSI was lower than what it is today was after the fallout of the Terra/Luna/Celsius/Voyager/Three Arrows Capital f*ckery of mid-2022.
BTCUSD Weekly Chart – Click to enlarge.
FTX you say? Oh, it didn’t even get to 30!
So… what now? How does BTC perform post a sub-30 weekly RSI?
Sub-30 Weekly RSI Historical Forward Returns (avg of prior readings):
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30-day: +17.5%
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60-day: +9.4%
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90-day: +1.6%
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180-day: -2.5%
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365-day: +63.8%
Let’s wait and see what happens. 😰
STOCKTWITS
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The Philosophical Quant – Software Panic to All-Time Highs: How We Traded the IGV Reversal
NEWS
The Cops Left the Building 👋
Decrypt dropped a beauty this week. 👈️
The CFTC’s Chicago enforcement office, the one that handled the heavy lifting on cases like FTX and Binance, the one that once housed 20 enforcement attorneys – now has exactly zero.
Not two. Not one on a bad day. Zero. The last attorney standing resigned on Monday. Lights off, nobody home.
This is happening at the exact same time that the House and Senate may hand the CFTC the keys to regulating crypto and the prediction market explosion. Kind like firing every mechanic at the shop and then buying a fleet of buses.
One of the laid-off attorneys – a chief trial lawyer with 26 years at the agency – told Barron’s, and I’m paraphrasing here: if I were a different person, I’d launch a crypto scam right now because there are no cops on the beat. That’s not FUD. That’s a guy who spent nearly three decades doing the job telling you the job no longer exists.
Meanwhile, CFTC Chair nominee Mike Selig sat in front of the Senate and couldn’t bring himself to say the agency needs more resources. Even when both sides of the aisle were practically begging him to ask for more funding.
Former acting chair Caroline Pham, who oversaw a 21% staff reduction, has since moved on to – wait for it – MoonPay.
Look, you can be pro-crypto regulation moving to the CFTC. Plenty of people in this industry have argued the CFTC is a better fit than the SEC. But a regulator with no enforcement capacity isn’t a regulator. It’s a suggestion box. 🎁
NEWS
The Empire That The Sun Never Sat On Set The Sun On This Sun ☀️
The Empire strikes back. 🙀
The empire that never let the sun set just dropped the curtains on one. The UK’s Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) has launched legal proceedings against Justin Sun’s exchange HTX – formerly Huobi – for illegally marketing crypto services to British consumers.
HTX thought “ignore them and they’ll go away” was a viable regulatory strategy. Despite warnings, the exchange kept pumping promotions across TikTok, X, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube without bothering to comply with rules that have been in force since October 2023.
Making matters worse, HTX operates behind what the FCA called an “opaque organisational structure” – fancy regulator-speak for “we can’t figure out who’s actually running this thing.”
The FCA responded by asking social media platforms to block HTX‘s accounts for UK users and requesting Apple and Google pull the app from UK stores. HTX has since restricted new UK sign-ups, but existing users still have access.
Also, because I like to go to Britain and I don’t want to get arrested for posting something that is no longer true (that’s a play on the UK being one of the least free speech places on the planet now): I am aware the British Empire doesn’t exist. Puns don’t deserve to get PUNished. 😉
NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
AI, Stablecoins, & Privacy News 🕵️
🤖 Metis Launches Debot Because 25,000 AI Agents
Metis dropped Debot, an open-source agent framework in 10.8k lines of Rust versus the 50-200k bloat of mainstream alternatives, with built-in Telegram/WhatsApp, long-term memory, and 71% cost savings on routing. Their own agent EVE has been working as a “super employee” since February 2nd, making humans feel like coaches instead of workers. Metis.
😤 Ontology Points Out You Made Big Tech $1.3 Trillion and Got Nothing
Meta, Google, and Amazon generated £1.3 trillion last year by monetizing your data, behavior, and social connections – and your cut was free email and targeted ads. The extraction model is cracking under GDPR fines, garbage data quality, and breaches that turn centralized hoards into liability bombs. Ontology.
NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Real World Asset Tokenization (RWA) News 🪙
🏦 Fosun Wealth Puts a Yield-Bearing RWA Stablecoin on Avalanche
FUSD launched on Avalanche backed by money market funds from BNY Mellon and ChinaAMC, offering native yield while staying liquid across DeFi – unlike regular stablecoins that just sit there doing nothing. It’s designed for family offices and pension funds who want transparency and sub-second settlement without the legacy cash management headaches. Avalanche now hosts institutional RWAs across Japan, Korea, and Hong Kong, which is either strategy or just following the regulatory clarity. Avalanche.
NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
DeFi, DEX, & Lending News 🏦
🏗️ Celestia Says Layer 2s Should Stop Paying Rent and Go Sovereign
Celestia argues “L2” implies tenant status under an L1 landlord, and the future belongs to sovereign networks that outsource data availability without surrendering control. Traditional L1s require massive token inflation for validators – Solana reportedly paid $4.4B in 2025 – while Celestia-enabled networks skip that overhead entirely. Proof-of-Authority isn’t the answer either; at that point you’ve just built a centralized database with a token attached. Celestia.
🚀 Sui’s Moonshots Program Wants Category-Defining DeFi, Not Your Slightly Better AMM
Sui launched DeFi Moonshots offering up to $500k, engineering support, and audit credits for roughly ten projects per year that build financial primitives that don’t exist yet. No cohorts, no batches, rolling applications – if you’re iterating incrementally, apply elsewhere. The bar is “could reshape a category,” not “marginally improves TVL.” Sui.
NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Protocol News 🏦
🔒 Zano’s January: Gateway Addresses, 70% Staked, and Zero-KYC AI Access
The world’s first fully private Proof-of-Stake keeps getting more private. Zano dropped its 2026 roadmap with gateway addresses, full PoS transition, and $21M+ TVL proving that privacy infrastructure works when it actually works. New wrapped assets got whitelisted, $ZANO hit NanoGPT for anonymous AI access, and a lite wallet with zero sync time is “almost ready.” Zano.
LINKS
Links That Don’t Suck 🔗
💀 Ex-Binance CEO CZ Says Crypto Has Already Lived Through Its ‘Darkest Quarter’
🦜 Snapchat Sued By Texas Attorney General Over Addictive Features, Child Safety
🚀 Silver Soars 6%, Gold Extends Gains: AG, HL, PAAS Stocks Get Pre-Market Boost
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Author Disclosure: The author of this newsletter holds positions in AVAX, ADA, PUDGY, WLC, IMX, XTZ, NEAR, HBAR, ALGO, INJ, LTC, LINK, ZEC, XLM, and FET. 📋
