
FDIC Caught Playing “Shred and Seek” With Crypto Docs 😠
OVERVIEW
FDIC Caught Playing “Shred and Seek” With Crypto Docs 😠

Before we dive in, here’s today’s crypto market heatmap:
And here’s a look at crypto’s total market cap chart:
NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Crypto News 📰
⚠️ Coinbase’s “Bitcoin Loans”: Not Exactly What You Think
Coinbase launched “Bitcoin-backed loans” that aren’t actually backed by real Bitcoin—just a wrapped token (cbBTC) on their Base chain, using a Morpho Labs platform nowhere near the Bitcoin blockchain. They call it “TradFi in the front, DeFi in the back,” but it’s really centralized all the way through, forcing you to trust Coinbase to hold your BTC. Real Bitcoiners want a future where you can borrow against your BTC without giving up custody or playing hot potato with yet another IOU token. Bitcoin Magazine.
💰 eToro’s $5B IPO: Third Time’s (Maybe) The Charm
After a scrapped SPAC deal and a near-listing in 2024, eToro’s filing again—this time at a $5B valuation with Goldman, Jefferies, and UBS in tow. They picked Q2 2025 for the potential listing, even though their biggest market is the UK. With SEC leadership turning pro-crypto, eToro might finally see their plan get greenlit—unless another curveball sends it back to the drawing board. Crypto Briefing.
🚀 XRP Snags New All-Time Highs
How long did it take XRP to make a new all-time high? 2,569 days. That’s as many weeks as there are days in a year (well, 2 more, 367 weeks). 84 months. A crazy amount of time, but congratulations XRP hodlers, you deserve to celebrate!
🇺🇸 Rumor Mill: America-First Crypto Reserve
Trump’s incoming administration is rumored to have given a maybe for a strategic reserve packed with U.S.-based digital assets like Solana, USDC, and Ripple, sources say. While some folks cheer the idea as a big win for homegrown projects, Bitcoin loyalists worry this “America-first” plan could overshadow the world’s top crypto. New York Post.
⚡ Polygon’s 35M POL Grants: AI, DePIN, and Memes—Oh My
Polygon’s back with Season 2 of its Community Grants Program, tossing out 35M POL like confetti for AI-based projects, DePIN, and yes, even memecoins. If you hate categories, the Direct Track offers a chunk of 20M POL with basically zero constraints. They say it’s about “long-termism,” but we know it’s about shipping something that actually makes sense. Polygon blog.
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NEWS
Whistleblowers Expose FDIC’s Dirty Crypto Secrets and Illegal Threats 😱
Wyoming’s Senator Cynthia Lummis just fired off a blistering letter to FDIC Chair Marty Gruenberg. She’s calling out whistleblower retaliation and accusing the agency of trashing evidence tied to its digital asset activities. 💥
By the way, if you’ve ever read one of these official media releases from a Senator or Representative, you know they have a certain style and flow. Lummis’ letter is the government version of: “I know what you did, who did it, who ordered it, and who wants to hide it. So knock that shit off, or I’m coming, and hell’s coming with me.”

Kurt Russell ain’t happy.
The Allegations: A Digital Paper Trail Under Threat 🔪
Whistleblowers – so at least two – made some damaging allegations:
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Destruction of Materials: Whistleblowers claim FDIC documents on digital asset activities are being destroyed on purpose.
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Monitored Staff Access: Management is allegedly tracking who dares to poke around sensitive files.
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Threats of Legal Action: Some employees say they’ve been threatened with lawsuits for sharing info.
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Targeted Suppression: The Senate’s access to key documents is reportedly being blocked before anyone can sound the alarm.
Lummis wants every scrap of digital asset data preserved—no more sneaky shredding, no more intimidation tactics.
The scope of her preservation order is broad. We’re talking about everything related to:
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Signature Bank supervision and resolution.
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Silvergate Bank liquidation oversight.
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Any bank that even thought about touching crypto.
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Inter-agency planning on digital assets.
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Rules, guidance, or enforcement hits involving crypto.
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FOIA classifications that might hide or reveal crypto activities.
A Warning Shot: Criminal Referrals Incoming To The DoJ? 🧑⚖️
Lummis warned Gruenberg that interfering with Senate oversight or torching documents could earn people a fast pass to the Department of Justice. Translation? If your first move was to run for the paper shredder, might want to reconsider.
She also shut down any mention of attorney-client privilege or confidentiality as a get-out-of-jail-free card. No magical legal cloak is going to hide digital asset records from the Senate’s watchful eye. Lummis wants it all, and she wants it unredacted. 🔨
NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Metaverse, NFT, & Gaming News 🎮️
🌐 Saga Teams Up With Virtuals, Eliza Labs, Wayfinder
They’re unveiling Metropolis, a cross-chain AI agent protocol where AI can spawn its own Layer 1 chainlets. Saga’s Liquidity Integration Layer ensures these mini-blockchains talk to each other without a hitch. It’s basically an AI playground for everything from memecoins to complex economic games—robo-lords, rejoice. Saga blog.
💰 Virtuals Value Accrual: Because Taxes Aren’t Just IRL
Post-bonding taxes now split 30% for agent creators, 20% for affiliates, and 50% for the subDAO’s future plans. If you’re a creator, you can reroute rewards to a new wallet in one click—no shady backdoor deals necessary. Meanwhile, affiliates get paid too, turning trading platforms into hype squads for the entire Virtuals ecosystem. Virtuals Protocol blog.
⚙️ io.net + Injective: Unleashing Decentralized AI
io.net brings over 10,000 GPUs for AI/ML tasks, fueling DeFi + AI (“DeFAI”) via Injective’s iAgent SDK. Think LLM chatbots hooking into on-chain trades with GPU muscle powering it all. They’re basically tossing HPC-level compute at Web3 developers so your AI doesn’t have to chug along on grandma’s laptop. Injective blog.
NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
DeFi, DEX, and Lending Protocol News 🏦
♾️ ICP Governance: SNS DAOs Turning Dapps Into Democracies
The Internet Computer spent 2024 beefing up Service Nervous Systems so communities can control their own dapps without a million proposals clogging the system. They added rebranding, improved treasury protections, and even introduced a “DAO Circle” because apparently we like naming everything a “circle.” Next year, they want to make governance even simpler. Internet Computer Protocol blog.
😈 Everreach’s REVENGE: Shooter Where Spectators Get Trigger-Happy
Far Cry 3, R6 Siege, and Fortnite vets teamed up to let spectators influence matches by dropping upgrades or messing with the map. They’re rolling out pre-alpha in Q1 2025 with Immutable’s zkEVM ensuring that your fancy weapon mods are actually yours. This might be your next fix if you like watching streams but want more power than spam chat. Immutable blog.
🤖 Hedera’s Newest Hat: The Decentralized AI Society
Hedera just hopped on the DAIS train to ensure AI doesn’t become Big Tech’s next playground. They’re calling it “ethical AI,” roping in NEAR and Secret Network to keep data secure, fair, and distributed. For those wanting more than talk, they’ll be flexing at the “Decentralized AI Salon” in Davos. Hedera blog.
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Source: Punchup.live
LINKS
Links That Don’t Suck 🔗
⚡️ Litecoin ETF ‘most likely’ approved next in US, Bloomberg analyst says
🧑⚖️ Legal action initiated against PumpFun for alleged investor misconduct
💰️ IRS crypto reporting to begin in 2025 for CEX transactions
🦢 Swan Bitcoin sued by Tether for violating business agreements in 2022 partnership
🤠 Texas kicks off 89th legislative session with new strategic Bitcoin reserve bill
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