
Crypto Bulls Tiptoe Back—Because Testing Waters Beats Drowning 🐂
OVERVIEW
Crypto Bulls Tiptoe Back—Because Testing Waters Beats Drowning 🐂

Source: Giphy
Before we dive in, here’s today’s crypto market heatmap:
And here’s a look at crypto’s total market and altcoin market cap charts:
NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Crypto News 📰
💼 Jump Trading Returns to US Crypto Scene
Jump Trading, famous for being on the wrong side of Terra’s meltdown and FTX’s dumpster fire, is bravely re-entering the US crypto market. After retreating, spinning off projects, and paying casual $123 million SEC settlement, they’re back. Throwing $15 million at crypto-friendly politicians probably didn’t hurt their decision either. CryptoBriefing.
⚖️ Burwick Law’s Meme Coin Crusade Intensifies
Burwick Law is coming after meme coins like a bored attorney at a crypto buffet, launching dozens of investigations against platforms like Pump.Fun for allegedly laundering money, pumping tokens, and other shenanigans. They’re accusing Pump.Fun of enabling “terrorist financing”—because WIF.X ( ▲ 1.2188053409% ) and CHILLGUY.X ( ▲ 2.5115664243% ) sound exactly like assets ISIS would bet on. Protos.
👮♂️ Bybit Politely Asks ParaSwap DAO to Return Stolen Fees
After getting robbed for $1.5 billion ETH.X ( ▲ 2.9900763735% ) by North Korean hackers, Bybit is now asking ParaSwap DAO to hand back $100,000 in fees earned from the stolen funds, which sparked an immediate philosophical debate about whether DeFi should bail out CeFi’s errors. ParaSwap members are split—some suggesting a “courtesy” 10% bounty, others sarcastically warning against creating a precedent of DeFi cleaning up after centralized exchanges’ security fails. CryptoNews.
🙄 NFT ETFs Probably Aren’t Happening Because Investors Still Think They’re Dumb
Rumors of an NFT ETF were predictably shot down by market experts, who pointed out that traditional investors see NFTs as overpriced JPEGs. Despite PENGU.X ( ▼ 1.5192135836% ) CEO Luca Netz vaguely promising “something for our JPEGs,” ETF providers noted NFTs’ illiquidity and impossible pricing structures would make any fund difficult. Decrypt.
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ON-CHAIN ANALYSIS
Realized Losses Near A Cycle High 😱
Glassnode’s latest weekly report is a fantastic read and tackles what happened between February 26 to March 3, and answers the question: How badly did new investors get wrecked this time around? 🤔
Some important stats:
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BTC.X ( ▲ 3.0935680768% ) dropped a whopping -28% from its local high, ETH.X ( ▲ 2.9900763735% ) and SOL.X ( ▲ 1.5023648343% ) plunged over -50%.
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Realized volatility topped 80%, turning the market into a roller-coaster ride, but the kind where the seat belts and the over-the-shoulder harness doesn’t work.
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150k BTC (worth $14.2B) changed hands in that under-$86k ‘dead zone,’ testing everyone’s nerves.
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Daily realized losses hit $818M, just shy of the cycle’s worst carnage ($1.34B).
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Bitcoin posted its second-largest weekly drop at -13.9% (for this cycle), looking only slightly less painful than last August’s meltdown.
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Short-Term Holders booked their second-largest negative SOPR of this entire cycle—a real gut punch for fresh money/new entrants.
Bullish Outlook
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$92k Is the Momentum Magnet: If Bitcoin can reclaim the Short-Term Holder Cost Basis, it shows the bulls aren’t all on vacation. This threshold has historically been the line where an uptrend either resumes or dies a slow death.
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Buyers Still Exist… Theoretically: Despite the volatility tantrum, on-chain data still shows pockets of accumulation. Sure, some folks got wrecked, but not everyone is fleeing.
Bearish Outlook
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The $70k “Final Boss”: If support crumbles there, it’s likely lights out for bullish momentum. Multiple metrics point to $70k as the last stand for any heroic comebacks.
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Sell-Side Fireworks: Distribution came in hot from all wallet cohorts. That drove realized losses to levels we’d only seen during the yen-carry-trade meltdown.
Key Levels to Watch
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$86k “Air-Gap” Zone: A no-man’s-land where 150k BTC suddenly changed hands, worth $14.2B. Watch for any retests—if nobody defends it, that’s a problem.
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$92k Short-Term Holder Cost Basis: The must-reclaim level for BTC to show its still got game.
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$70k Active Realized Price: The final defense. If buyers can’t muster courage here, buckle up.
Read their full write up here. 📰
SOLANA
Pump.fun Volume Keep Dropping 📉
SOL.X ( ▲ 1.5023648343% )’s memecoin printer has had some massive drops in volume since late January. One might even say the volume has been rugged. 🙄
From a daily volume of $544,113,453 on January 23, 2025 to yesterday’s $106,735,830, things have certainly nosedived.
That’s a -80.38% drop. Hell, if things don’t pick up then today might be sub $100m. 🤦
ON-CHAIN ANALYSIS
Burnt Bag Briefing 🔥
Want to know whether the bulls or bears are feeling the most pain today? Well, this is the place to look. 👀
In the past 24 hours, 87,890 traders were liquidated, with total liquidations reaching nearly $290.53 million.
The largest single liquidation occurred on Binance, a BTCUSD pair valued at $4.48 million.
Longs lost $133.12 million, while shorts were hit for $157.41 million. 🤕
NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Metaverse, NFT, & Gaming News 🎮️
⚽ Chiliz Hooks Up With Fanzword, Brings Fan Tokens to Middle East
CHZ.X ( ▲ 1.8559694609% ) and Fanzword team up to milk the football-crazed Middle East market dry, embedding Fan Tokens deeper into your favorite sports apps. Over a million users now get to trade their digital pride in football teams instead of just endlessly arguing about them online for free. Congratulations: your sports loyalty just became financially quantifiable. Chiliz.
🕵️ Aleph Zero’s Shielding: Finally, Privacy Because Everyone’s Tired of Wallet Stalking
AZERO.X ( ▲ 1.5831804041% )’s zkOS shielding promises privacy from on-chain peepers—so now your questionable NFT habits and embarrassing DeFi gambles can remain your dirty little secret. Sure, shielding sounds revolutionary, but it’s basically zero-knowledge proofs wrapped in shiny new branding. It’s great for users who hate being tracked, terrible news for crypto stalkers and chain analytics firms who have built an entire business on snooping into your transaction history. Aleph Zero.
🤖 SingularityNET and Privado ID Make AI More Trustworthy—What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
SingularityNET and Privado ID are building a decentralized AI Trust Registry, ensuring that robots can trust each other while humans still can’t trust either. AGIX.X ( ▲ 3.1669753744% )’s CEO Ben Goertzel says this trust system is essential because the future hinges not just on humans believing in AI but AI believing in itself—which definitely sounds like the plot of a dystopian Netflix special. SingularityNET.
NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
DeFi, DEX, and Lending Protocol News 🏦
⚖️ Balancer’s ETH Denver Wrap-Up: Same Buzzwords, Smaller Crowds, Zero Excitement
BAL.X ( ▲ 2.7983395292% )’s latest update from ETH Denver reads exactly as you’d expect: a boring buffet of buzzwords—AI enhancements, regulatory chatter, liquidity strategies, blah blah blah. Sure, they warned users about scammers with the new V3 launch, which makes sense because scammers are probably the only ones actually paying attention. The real buzz came from everyone complaining about insider-friendly tokenomics and pretending they aren’t secretly jealous. Balancer.
💾 Decentralized Data Ownership: Because Big Tech’s Free Ride is Over
Big Tech’s been strip-mining your data like it’s West Virginia coal, but Web3’s data layers have arrived to ruin their party. ELF.X ( ▲ 2.7134691854% )’s believes you won’t be begging Instagram or Fitbit for scraps of your own data anymore—now you get to monetize it yourself. Using zero-knowledge proofs, your precious information stays secure while AI geeks and VC parasites pay you to help them solve their so-called ‘data wall.’ aelf.
LINKS
Links That Don’t Suck 🔗
💃 Brother of Australian Olympic Breakdancer ‘Raygun’ charged with crypto fraud
👍️ Uphold relaunches crypto staking in the US
🐋 Whales buy Arbitrum (ARB) after Robinhood US listing
🥄 Trump’s White House crypto summit: confirmed attendees so far
🥷 US Treasury blacklists 49 Bitcoin and Monero addresses linked to Nemesis darknet marketplace
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Author Disclosure: The author of this newsletter holds positions in ADA, LTC, IMX, WMT, COPI, MIN, AGIX, ALGO, DOGE, ZEC, AVAX, XLM, XTZ, and NEAR. 📋
