
Dear September: Nobody Likes You. Also, July And August Think You're Ugly 🧌
OVERVIEW
Dear September: Nobody Likes You. Also, July And August Think You’re Ugly 🧌

Before we dive in, here’s today’s crypto market heatmap:
And here’s a look at crypto’s total market and altcoin market cap charts:
NEWS
This Is The Most Stupidly Out Of Balance Liquidation Ratio Ever (maybe, probably, 93ish% certain) 🔢
As of 1430 EST, the 24-hour liquidation totals from CoinGlass sit at $1.12 billion. 😨
Note, in the heat map above, green does not mean good. It does not mean bullish. In fact, it’s the total opposite. The green let’s you know which side got hit the worst (longs are green, shorts are red) and for what amount.
I.,e., Ethereum longs got liquidated for $424.35M. But that’s not the crazy part. The crazy part is how much of a difference between the long liquidations vs. the short liquidations:
$1.04 billion in longs liquidated.
and because a decimal makes this look quite silly:
$0.074 billlion in shorts liquidated ($74 million).
14:1 ratio. That’s nuts. 🥜
NEWS
Just A Reminder: September Sucks 👎️
September is a huge 💩 for crypto.
If we skipped every September…
$BTC returns would be +112%
$ETH returns would be +98%
$ADA returns would be +150%Lets all rub @jonmorgan_HODL‘s bald head for a parabolic Uptober!
— Cryptotwits (@CryptotwitsHQ)
3:19 PM • Sep 25, 2025
That is all. 🧠
NEWS
XRP Finally Gets Its DeFi Passport on Flare ⚡

After years of waiting, $XRP.X ( ▼ 0.43% ) is finally getting some DeFi utility. Flare just turned on FAssets, starting with FXRP v1.2, which lets XRP holders mint FXRP and toss their bags into Flare’s DeFi ecosystem. 🥳
Wut R FAssets?
FAssets are $FLR.X ( ▲ 9.13% )’s way of making non-smart contract coins act like DeFi tokens. Think XRP to FXRP, secured with overcollateralization and Flare’s data plumbing. Once minted, FXRP moves freely across Flare protocols without duct-taped workarounds.
Use cases:
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DEX trading
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Lending
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Stablecoin minting
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Liquid staking
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Whatever other DeFi toys show up next
Security Theater (But Real)
This isn’t some “trust us, bro” bridge. Flare pushed FAssets through:
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4+ independent audits (Zellic, Coinspect, others)
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Immunefi bug bounties
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Code4rena reviews
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24/7 monitoring by Hypernative
Launch Incentives
Oh ya, and because nothing in DeFi launches without some version of yield bait incentives:
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Kinetic FXRP Supply – 5% APR
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Kinetic FXRP/USD₮0 Isolated Pool – USD₮0 borrow vs FXRP
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FXRP/USD₮0 Liquidity Pools (SparkDEX, Blazeswap, Enosys) – 50% APR (that’s sustainable… #sarcasm)
Let’s see how this goes. 👀
STABLECOINS
Tether Has $105B… So Why Is It Passing the Hat? 🎩

In yesterday’s Cryptotwits newsletter, we looked at Tether’s target of raising $15 to $20 billion for a 3% stake, valuing it at $500 billion. I didn’t have the room to go into the silliness of that, but, thankfully, those fine folks at Protos did. 👍️
On paper, the valuation and raise is a big flex – but wtf do you need $15 to $20 billion more for if you’ve got $105B in a warchest? And you’re margins are – if you can believe it, 99%, and you brought in nearly $5 billion in profit for Q2?rly profit, why beg for more?
Follow the Money (or the Lawsuits)
One theory: lawyers.
Tether is knee-deep in two civil suits, including one from Celsius’ angry creditors. They claim Tether nuked Celsius’ collateral early, skipping a 10-hour grace window and dumping assets in a panic.
The damages in play? Between 39,000 and 57,000 BTC, worth north of $6 billion. Mashinsky might be locked up, but the lawsuits against Tether are still alive and kicking.
The Audit That Never Shows Up
The other theory: optics.
Tether’s been promising an audit since dial-up internet – ok not that long but it might as well be. Still hasn’t happened. Instead, we get “attestations” that confirm balances but never the whole picture. Raising outside cash could help paper over trust issues or create a shiny new “we’re too big to doubt” narrative.
Personally, Tether has always had my spider-sense tingle. There’s just something odd and off about it. Not odd or off like Justin Sun, but still just a feeling that something isn’t quite right. 🤔
STABLECOINS
PayPal’s PYUSD Finds A Sugar Daddy In Spark 🍬

PayPal is tired of its stablecoin, $PYUSD.X ( ▼ 0.07% ) , being treated like a knockoff gift card. So it teamed up with Spark, an on-chain capital allocator, to blow up PYUSD liquidity from a few hundred million to $1 billion in weeks. 📆
Deposits already hit $200 million, which is more traction than most stablecoin side projects ever see.
Here’s the trick: stablecoins live or die by liquidity. Usually, that means overpaying market makers who gouge you in “low double digits.” Spark skips that tax. They’re pumping in cheap capital at 7-8% rates, backed by an $8 billion war chest.
They’re literally swapping tens of millions of USDC into PYUSD daily. PYUSD might actually graduate from “meh” to “mandatory” if Spark keeps filling the pool. 🤯
NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
AI, Stablecoins, & Privacy News 🕵️
🤖 Civic Nexus Promises AI Without the Spreadsheet Hell
Civic’s new Nexus tool lets companies point AI straight at their data warehouses without waiting weeks for IT to untangle APIs. It’s basically ChatGPT-for-your-BI-tools, minus the credential circus and with guardrails for execs who don’t trust robots. Considering most enterprise AI projects burn cash and die, this is a good thing. Civic.
🧠 iDAO Brings DAO Logic to AI Assets
Instead of letting a few platforms own your data and models, iDAOs wrap them in on-chain governance shells powered by Metis. Contributors set policies, earn rewards, and keep provenance intact while apps pull in reliable, permissioned AI inputs. It’s like giving every dataset a wallet, a lawyer, and voting rights in one shot. Metis.
🛑 No Bot Shop Makes Sneakers Human-Only Again
In an AI-clogged world, proving you’re human might be the ultimate flex. World ran a pop-up in LA where bots couldn’t scalp sneakers, tickets, or collectibles – only verified humans got through the door. Visitors proved they were flesh and blood via an Orb scan, then spun for prizes normally eaten alive by scripts. Worldcoin.
NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Metaverse, NFT, & Gaming News 🎮️
📡 Vodafone’s PairPoint Validates SKALE (and FAIR) for Billions
Vodafone’s blockchain arm is now running a validator on SKALE while doubling down as a genesis validator for FAIR. The combo backs gas-free consumer apps and MEV-proof enterprise infra, giving SKALE more decentralization and a shiny stamp of “telco approved.” If you wanted proof that corporations are creeping deeper into Web3, here it is. SKALE Network.
NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
DeFi, DEX, & Lending News 🏦
🔄 1inch Powers Swaps Inside THORWallet
Fewer rug-worthy headaches, more reasons to ditch custodial “super apps.” THORWallet just plugged in 1inch’s Swap API so users can hop tokens across chains without begging a middleman. That means deep liquidity, MEV protection, gas savings, and even Solana swaps all baked into one app. 1inch.
NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Protocol News 🏦
⚡ Core’s Hermes Hardfork Brings 6-Second Finality
Core Testnet2 just got the Hermes Hardfork, shrinking block finality to ~6s and handing validators new toys like maintenance mode and multi-block production. Developers also score BLS cryptography, historical block access, and EOAs that can run code. Basically faster, richer, and scarier – so upgrade before your node faceplants. CoreDAO.
LINKS
Links That Don’t Suck 🔗
🐿️ Very mean squirrel’ seeking food has sent at least 2 people to the ER in a California city
🫢 US jobless claims drop to 218K as GDP hits 3.8%, topping forecasts
🧠 New Cardano Fundamentals course goes live on Binance Academy
😡 Woman embezzles $100,000 from government program intended for needy children in foster care: DOJ
🤖 Tesla worker sues for $51M after alleged robot attack at Fremont plant
⌨️ Tech overtakes gaming as top DDoS attack target, new Gcore Radar Report finds
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Author Disclosure: The author of this newsletter holds positions in ADA, IMX, COPI, MIN, AGIX, ALGO, ZEC, XLM, and NEAR. 📋
