Making Friends
Some people can’t claim a single friend. Then there is Rob Lawless.
In a bid to find friends, Rob has met with 7,254 people. It’s part of a quest to meet a total of 10,000. Rob celebrated the 10th anniversary of the journey last week. He shared a highlights reel on Instagram where he documents the effort.
Rob is one of those rare people who managed to fashion a career out of a passion.
After graduating from Penn State and landing a lucrative consulting job, he found himself unfulfilled. He quit to pursue a dream of meeting 10,000 people.
The remarkable thing is he didn’t have a plan. He ended up running down his savings and even resorted to sleeping on couches and in his car to save money.
A solution materialized when a friend suggested he seek opportunities as a public speaker so he could share lessons from meeting people.
He has since become a sought-after keynote speaker who shares lessons about what it takes to meet people, which, it turns out, is challenging for most people. Americans have on average three to five friends, a number that has been in decline for decades.
That reality has raised concerns about an epidemic of loneliness. There is ample evidence that loneliness shortens life expectancy and causes health to deteriorate.
The problem is that wanting to meet people is a bit like wanting to go to the gym and work out. The intent is there but the follow through is not. Most people who want to meet new acquaintances struggle.
There are people who would quibble with Rob’s definition of friend. He cannot possibly know that may people well.
The reality is our culture doesn’t have a nuanced vocabulary for these kinds of relationships. It’s not a colleague or associate. It would feel odd to call them a pal or chum. Friend seems to be the best alternative.
The key is to take action. Last year, I became Rob’s 6,689th friend when we met in New York. I had reached out to him via message asking if I could get on the list. It seemed like the logical thing to do when I heard about his unusual occupation from his brother.
It seems that you either have this impulse or not. I posted about Rob on LinkedIn earlier this week and several of my friends immediately reached out to him.
Rob has 2,746 friends left to meet. If you want to be one of them, drop him a message via his Instagram account.
Your career will thank you.
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BRIEF OBSERVATIONS
INCENTIVES ARE EVERYTHING: Good perspective from George Mack about incentives which drive so much behavior in society.
JANE JACOBS: I’m a big fan of Jane Jacobs. I first read The Death and Life of Great Cities 40 years ago and it was one of the most influential books I’ve ever read because it reminds you how much our surroundings shape our lives.
THE ROAD NOT TAKEN: Andrew Bary is well known as a journalist who has had a successful career as a journalist at Barrons. For me, he represents something else: the road not taken. I interviewed with him for a dream job at Dow Jones in 1990. He didn’t hire me, and I ended up getting a job at Bloomberg.
PUBLICITY: Many of the most famous modern artists – Haring, Basquiat, Koons – understood the value of publicity and gaining attention.
BOYS & GIRLS: Xavier Parochial School in Manhattan has the classic architectural feature of a Boys and Girls entrance.
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