Some Hearts Are Meant To Be Broken🫀
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OVERVIEW
Some Hearts Are Meant To Be Broken 🫀
source: giphy
Before we dive in, here’s today’s crypto market heatmap:
Source: Santiment
And here’s a look at crypto’s total and altcoin market cap YTD:
Source: Tradingview
NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
Crypto News 📰
🤯 Tether Takes a $775M Leap into Rumble
Tether is dumping a cool $775 million into Rumble, grabbing 103+ million shares at $7.50 each while leaving CEO Chris Pavlovski comfortably in the driver’s seat. Rumble plans to toss $250 million into its growth engine and the rest into a tender offer for up to 70 million shares, as Tether hints at future ads, cloud services, and crypto payments for the YouTube rebel. DailyHODL.
💥 HyperLiquid’s $60M Exodus: DPRK “Tests” Leave Everyone Shaken
Around $60 million in USDC just walked out of HyperLiquid after addresses linked to North Korean hackers ran what experts are calling “test trades.” One security researcher flagged the platform’s measly four validators as a glaring weak point, raising fears of a catastrophic 0-day exploit. If these wallets really belong to DPRK, this might just be a dress rehearsal before the main event. CryptoBriefing.
🇺🇸 Trump’s Supposed First-Day Crypto Bombshell
Whispers say President-elect Trump might roll out a pro-crypto executive order on day one, possibly building a U.S. Bitcoin stockpile or guaranteeing access to crypto banking. He’s already fired shots at outgoing SEC boss Gary Gensler, tapping Paul Atkins as a more hands-off replacement. If that plan materializes, the country could pivot from regulatory beatdowns to welcoming crypto with open arms—almost overnight. CryptoNews.
🪙 IRS to Stakers: ‘Pay Up Now, Sell Later’
The IRS is sticking to its guns, claiming staking rewards become taxable income the second they’re created. A Tennessee couple begs to differ, saying these freshly minted Tezos tokens are “new property” that shouldn’t be taxed until sold, and they’ve even rejected an IRS refund to keep the legal battle alive. If Uncle Sam wins, every proof-of-stake network in the U.S. might be stuck paying taxes on tokens still chilling in their wallets. TheStreet.
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NEWS IN THREE SENTENCES
DeFi, DEX, and Lending Protocol News 🏦
⚡ THORChain v3: Cross-Chain Season
THORChain’s v3 upgrade taps into Cosmos SDK 0.50, unlocking smart contracts, a jam-packed app layer, and direct access to native assets across multiple chains. New alliances like Rujira bring order books, lending, and perpetual futures. It’s Christmas come early for cross-chain DeFi fans, complete with bigger burn mechanics and more ways to stack that sweet, sweet RUNE. THORchain blog.
💰 Curve’s Week 51: Yields Galore
Despite crypto’s usual mood swings, Curve’s total value locked stands firm, and borrowing for crvUSD just got cheaper while yields on scrvUSD popped to nearly 16%. New pools are sprouting like mushrooms in a rainforest, some dishing out triple-digit APYs to daring liquidity providers. Word from the wise: do your homework, because these yields can thrill—or kill—your portfolio. Curve Finance blog.
⚡ Gasless 1-Click Trading on Base: Synthetix Throws Out the Wallet Prompts
Sick of “Confirm Transaction” popups? Synthetix Exchange heard your cries. Now you can go gasless and do 1-click trades on Base without the nickel-and-dime nonsense. Your session credentials live locally, so you can slam that “Trade” button over and over without a whiff of a wallet prompt (except for advanced stuff and deposits/withdrawals, because, you know, sanity). They’re even covering the gas. Synthetix blog.
NEWS
Man-Child vs. 16-Year-Old: How To Get On Interpol’s Naughty List 📰
Source: Europol
One of crypto’s biggest conmen is officially on Interpol’s Most Wanted list. 📜
Finland wants him for allegedly ignoring that pesky responsibility called paying taxes. And by ignoring, we’re talking hundreds of millions of euros.
And, because screwing his fans wasn’t enough to secure a lifetime supply of karmic retribution, he’s alleged to have drug a 16-year old girl into a stair well by her hair, then proceeded to punch her three to four times in the face. 😡
Before Finland and Interpol decided to make him more infamous, the SEC had already set its sights on Schueler. His unregistered securities—HEX, PulseChain, and PulseX—raked in over $1 billion from followers.
He pitched 38% annual returns, encouraging investors to toss their crypto into the Hex contract address like it was a wishful fountain. Turns out, much of that money ended up funding some questionable purchases that Schueler was fond of citing and flaunting: a 555-carat black diamond and his very expensive watch collection.
And Hex’s chart? It could make onions cry.
HEXUSD Monthly Chart
Oh, sure, it rallied +151.85% in November, but when you consider it’s still down -99.17% from its all-time high, that rally was about as useful as using a fork to eat soup. 🍴
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ON-CHAIN ANALYSIS
Burnt Bag Briefing 🔥
Want to know whether the bulls or bears are feeling the most pain today? Well, this is the place to look. 👀
24-Hour Liquidation Heat Map – Source: Coinglass – Click to enlarge.
In the past 24 hours, 88,760 traders were liquidated, with total liquidations reaching $266.89 million.
The largest single liquidation occurred on OKX, an ETHUSDT pair valued at $4.38 million.
Longs lost $157.34 million, while shorts were hit for $108.35 million. 🤕
LINKS
Links That Don’t Suck 🔗
😱 Crypto.com launches US institutional custody service
🤦 Peter Schiff doubles down on Bitcoin skepticism, suggests USA coin as alternative
🤖 Saudi Arabia deploys robot workers after more than 21,000 laborers die
🌏️ Encyclopedia Britannica is Now an AI Company
😄 La Rosa Holdings to allow real estate agents to receive commissions in crypto
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Author Disclosure: The author of this newsletter holds positions in ADA, DASH, COPI, LTC, LINK, MIN, AGIX, ALGO, DOGE, ZEC, AVAX, XLM, XTZ, and NEAR. Does not own any FARTCOIN. 📋
